Tuesday, November 4, 2008
So here I am. What do you want me to do?
These spiders inside my mind are always at work. Always weaving their web around a spinning mind. Soon enough these webs tangle around me, causing me to trip and stumble over my feet. Can you not see within my lies, how I despise this cruel intention. I try to please and to smile, but is it worth the little while? And on my back a burden weighs, Trying to hold closely to what I see... And feel. It's touching really, to know that you want me around, and I appreciate, but somewhere deep inside it turns, hurts, and I want to scream. But I cannot, for it will make you smile if I don't. And that is all I wish to see is your smile. Now you may think it is bad that I am writing this, but in my heart it makes it all worth while.Writing. It is what makes me happy even through it all, I can still smile. So don't take offense and do not get angry, but it is what it does for me. So back to my webs, that tangle round me, never letting me free, for even when I wipe them from my mind so I can see. The spiders fast at work tangle more. Or am I the spider itself?
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2 comments:
You and I are very much alike.
You weave webs, webs which trip you up, confuse you, catch you when you least expect it; webs which strangle you sometimes, webs which leave you hanging above the floor of your mind.
I, on the otherhand, do not weave webs.
I leave traps.
If your a Black Widow, then I am a trapdoor spider. Sitting silently, in wait, until the perfect moment, then strike out, and kill within seconds. When the Insane part of my mind lashes out at the Sane part. Its not always obvious at the time; But the repercussions and evidence of the attacks are plastered all over the faces of the ones whom I love, care for, would die for. Insanity and Sanity are duking it out in my head; For now, Sanity is prevailing.
But who knows when the Trapdoor Spider of Insanity will strike out next? Who is to know if the next strike might be the final, killing blow to Sanity, and Insanity will be left with free reign in my head?
I weave those motherfucking webs with my motherfucking comedic relief. That's all I am, and all I will be. A simpleton who makes you laugh, even when you're crying.
The part inside me that wants to see you happy always grins at the fact that you still feel for me, but the part inside me that wants you to move on is beginning to despise itself.
Go to hell, Jesus Omaley. Go to hell.
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